Out of a Rut 1: A Student Again
The last six months have witnessed me struggling to create. In my previous post, I talked about recognizing and acknowledging the loss of my creative spark. Once it dawned on me that I was in a creative rut, I asked fellow creatives how to deal with it. A common response I received was “It will come back; just be patient.”
It seems like every other creative person I know is aware that falling into a rut does happen to everyone but no one seems to have an idea on how to manage being in one and, best of all, how to get out of it other than waiting patiently for the spark to make its return.
This is not to say that in this post as well as the few succeeding ones, I will pose as an expert on dealing with creative rut. However, I am never one to be idle about things like this. I welcomed the idea of embracing this season I am in and to enjoy the chance to slow down and not feel pressured to create. I also knew deep inside that I needed to take active steps albeit small to rediscover what brings me joy. And if it meant doing it the DIY way - well, all right, then (and hopefully it works).
The first thing I did was to stay true to my creative routine - my Unicorn Space. I first learned about the concept of the Unicorn Space in the book Find Your Unicorn Space: Reclaim Your Creative Life in a Too-Busy World by Eve Rodsky. A Unicorn Space is an “active and open pursuit of self-expression in any form” that you feel is significant to you because doing it brings you immense joy. So immense that you commit yourself not only to the pursuit but to intentionally carving out time to actually pursue it. My Unicorn Space used to happen at 4:30 every morning. I would wake up one hour before I needed to get ready for work and, in this hour, I would lose myself in sewing and making. It had done wonders to my creativity as I found myself very focused and able to think clearly as no one else was awake at that time and also to my productivity - I had already accomplished something and my day was just beginning.
So even when I felt disengaged from making, I continued waking up at 4:30 every morning. Even though I did not sew or make anything, I would use this time to read, study Japanese, or plan projects that I would make once I felt the purposeful pursuit of creating once again. I felt that it was so important to continue showing up at this time because those moments of quiet time were the only remaining magic that lit me up as I navigated the uncomfortable and uncertain rut.
The next thing that I did was to go back to school. Even though I lost my creative mojo, I knew fully well that I did not want to completely step away from sewing and making. Sure, it did feel like I was burnt out but it did not feel like I wanted to give up the pursuit entirely. I felt that going back to school would push me to create even though it was in a structured format - again, there is the element of being in a routine. Perhaps if I showed up consistently to classes, my mojo would come back.
I enrolled in sewing and patternmaking classes. For two days in a week, I would be making slopers, sewing a toile, and manipulating darts into asymmetrical ones or French darts or turning them into pleats and gathers. I was learning new things and for concepts that I already knew, I was learning new techniques and approaches about them and I was fascinated by it. Miss Gertie (my sewing machine) was only too happy to be up and running again - this time at 3:30 every morning (two whole hours now!) when I would be completing homework during my Unicorn Space.
I am still not at the point where I dream up my own designs and personal projects but the time I can afford right now is enough to accomplish school assignments. But it’s okay. Again, I am enjoying the chance to slow down and I feel no pressure to work on projects of my own. I am relishing being a student again. And sewing a button (even though I’ve done it countless times), even if it’s only for submission purposes, is starting to feel fun again.
