Losing My Creative Spark

I am in a creative rut. I lost my creative mojo.

It feels both vulnerable and empowering to type those words. Yet I feel I owe it to myself to admit something like this as a first step to doing something about it. It also explains why this little virtual bubble of mine has been quiet for some time now.

A fellow creative told me that when in a rut, the first thing to do is to acknowledge it. It took me a while to do so because I did not immediately recognize it. But then for months, I found myself disengaged from my craft, putting off projects, and feeling uninspired to create. Yes, it took months before it became clear to me that I was at the point where I lost my creative spark.

Perhaps it was also because I was afraid to admit it. People expect me to create. I expect myself to always be creating. However, I learned that being in a place of fear can mean that one is onto something good, that one may be on the right track. In my case, recognizing the fear and acknowledging where I am is the first step to finding a solution to being in a rut.

It is important to find out why I fell into a rut in the first place. I hustled like crazy in 2021. The highlight of all my hustling was launching the Salome dress. Except for an upsetting circumstance at the Bureau of Customs in the Philippines, the process of creating the Salome dress and the campaign I built around it was smooth-sailing largely because I had excellent and reliable production partners.

However, it was also exhausting. I designed and sewed one Salome dress in the entirety of the process and everything else was dealing with my partners, shipping and logistics, marketing, etc. The process left very, very little room to create. And it got me thinking: after the Salome, people may want a new dress design from me. Am I willing to go through the whole thing again?

It was tiring to just think about it. Salome was launched in late 2021 and when 2022 arrived, I decided to give myself a break for the first quarter of the year because the previous year obviously wore me out. That break extended into the second quarter of the year.

I wasn’t too worried, though. In January, I set my intention for this year to be “Thrive Meaningfully.” Last year gave me a humbling experience and so, this year, I chose to go back to the basics, recognize the joyful experiences, and to only create from that kind of space

I took things more slowly. I read more books. I had “me” time and soaked up inspiration, comforted in the thought that I will be creating again someday. A lot of times, people create to attain beauty when the beautiful moments are actually in the process, in the experience, the spontaneity, or even serendipity. And so I now choose to seek those moments as the most joyful parts of making.

Soaking up inspiration while embracing the time I’m in.

Now that we’re into the third quarter of the year, things are moving slowly but I believe that things are moving in the right direction for me creatively no matter how slow the pace is. I have recognized that losing my mojo is part of creativity and that it is possible to gain it back. Until then, I’ll stay passionately curious and keep exploring. I have heard many times that people live their lives in different seasons. While this is definitely not my finest season, I am learning to embrace the time I am in and, while uncomfortable and uncertain, to enjoy this time too.

In the next 3 or 4 blog posts, I will be sharing the steps I have taken to actively get out of my creative rut and get my mojo back. They are not groundbreaking solutions but to someone who is in the same place as I am, they are rather big and brave steps as they are coming from a space of intention and purpose. Even if you are not in a rut, I hope you will check the succeeding posts out to find ways on how you can infuse creativity in your life (if you haven’t already).

I’ll see you again soon, lovelies. Same virtual space as always.